Researcher invents weapons of waste destruction

Aleksandr Georgievich Semenov patented an efficiently disgusting weapon system. Using his method, soldiers inside an armoured tank, under battle conditions, can dispose of their biological waste products in an unwasteful way: encasing those materials, together with explosives, in artillery shells that they then fire at the enemy.

Semenov, residing in St Petersburg, can and does brag of having Russian patent #2399858, granted in 2009, officially titled Method of Biowaste Removal From Isolated Dwelling Compartment of Military Facility And Device or Its Implementation.

As patents go, it's of modest length: 12 pages, with only two technical drawings. The original document is mostly in Russian. The prolific inventor (he has about 200 other patents), sent me a full translation into English.

Figure 2 seems, at a glance, unremarkable: a cutaway side view of an artillery shell in its cartridge, tipped with a screw-in "nose cone". There's a large charge to (in Semenov's description) "burst" the shell, and a small charge to trigger that burst. The shell itself contains – indeed is mostly – a compartment for the payload.

Figure 1 is larger and more complex, showing the entire tank in cutaway side view. A single crewman perches inside. Beneath him, an empty shell collects the waste that emerges from his anus.

Here's how the patent describes the scene, with numbers referring to specific items in the drawing:

"A military man (3) puts the wastes (8) into the capacity (7) directly (fig.1) or in two steps. After it's complete or, if it is necessary, incomplete filling the capacity is tightly sealed by the cover."

The key action is in one sentence: "The gun charged with special projectile is targeted on a safety zone or on any enemy target which is worth for catching it."

As the projectile leaves the tank, it removes what would eventually have become a source of stinking misery for the poor soldiers who, in combat, could be forced to remain sealed inside their vehicle for several days.

That misery transfers directly, forcefully away through the air, smacking into and dabbing onto the enemy.

This method of warfare aims to kill the enemy's spirit and psyche. The patent conveys this fact in spirited, if not belletristic, language:

"Except damaging factors, significance of which is secondary in this case, the military psychological positive effect takes place: comprehension of the facts of 'delivering' and distribution on enemy territory (on equipment and uniform of an enemy) by the staff as well as the opportunity of informing other soldiers and the enemy about it. As a result, in addition to the basic purpose reaching (full wastes removal) additional military-psychological and military-political effects are achieved."